Release Me (from the pain I feel)
by Lady Firebird
Summary: I messed with poor Koushiro's head. I hope he forgives me. It starts out dark, and then turns fluffy... how the heck did that happen? Yaoi/Yuri Plus A Plot Bunny at the end


Disclaimer: Hahahahahaha... I wish I owned them. But I don't. ::SIGH::  
  
A/N: (WARNING) Oo Darkness follows. (someone hurting themselves) Also Yaoi/Yuri. Poor Kou-chan. I'm beating him up. Ohoh.. and they're all a bit older. Like 15 and 16ish... except Takeru who's 12   
  
Release Me  
By Lady Firebird  
  
Koushiro looked around and saw that the rest of the digidestined were all asleep. He gave a slight sigh, and stared at the fire.  
  
"Well, I guess I'll take the first watch then." He mumbled, while putting a few more sticks on the fire. He glanced at his prized lap-top, and frowned. The battery had died this morning. He felt lost without it's companionship. Tai had laughed when he mourned at the loss.   
  
Koushiro knew that he wasn't well loved by the rest of the 'destined. They thought that he liked his computer more than them. Even Tentomon thought that. It wasn't true. He would have given anything to have their friendship, but they hated them. He was useful, and that was probably why they didn't leave him during the night. He took off his right glove, and stared down at the scar that adorned his wrist. There was an identical scar on his other wrist. He got those three months ago when he first heard the conversation between his parents, they weren't his real parents, and they didn't respect him enough to tell him the truth. He loved his parents, but the pain was too great, and he had to take care of it some how.   
  
And the same pain that he felt then, was nothing compaired to the pain that he was feeling now. He was with a group of people that hated him. And now there was no escape. Except the pain. Maybe the pain would help. He looked over at the rest of the group to make sure that no one had woken up, and reached into a small pouch in his lap-top case. Inside was a small razor. He never went anywhere without it. It was as much a security blanket as his computer was. He hadn't felt the need to use it though since he heard his parents talking.  
  
He looked at the scar that was there, and drew a small shallow one next to it. He stifled the soft cry that came out of his mouth. There was a slight moment of peace, but then, he jumped with fright when Sora turned over. He looked around for his glove, and pulled it back on. He looked up at the moon, and realized that he could wake up the next person to watch. He hid the razor back in it's hiding place, and woke up the person that was the most likely not to yell at him for waking him up. Jyou. He shook his shoulder lightly, and whispered his name. A moan came out of the blue haired boy, and he rolled over.   
  
"Is it my turn already?" Jyou asked. Koushiro nodded, and curled up next to Tentomon, falling into a fitfull sleep.  
  
Jyou put another stick on the fire, and looked around the camp. Everyone was asleep, and there was no sound coming from the surrounding forest. He stared down at his hands, and noticed something red on the ground. Blood.   
  
"Gomamon, wake up!!" Jyou whispered. "Gomamon!" Gomamon turned over and groaned.  
  
"What? What is it?" Gomamon stood up, and staggered over to his human partner. Jyou pointed to the blood that was on the ground.  
  
"Who's blood is that? Can you tell?" Jyou asked  
  
"Koushiro's. Can I go back to sleep yet?" Gomamon asked yawning. Jyou nodded, knowing that he'd get no more help out of his digimon till morning. He watched as Gomamon fell back asleep, and then turned to deal with the matter at hand. The blood. Koushiro's blood. Jyou didn't make a move to wake him up... he'd seen this before. A friend of his brother's had tried to kill himself a few years ago, he had acted just like Koushiro was now. He was withdrawn, and spent hours at a time staring at nothing.   
  
Koushiro was a nice boy, very smart... But Jyou didn't know him well. None of the digidestined did. Jyou didn't even think that Tentomon knew his human partner very well. Jyou thought it over. He had to talk to someone, he couldn't keep this a secret. The best person to talk to was Taichi. Since their leader needed to know all the weaknesses of his followers. But before he worried anyone, he had to be sure. He didn't want to make a mistake.   
  
-The next morning-  
  
"Come on everybody! Breakfast is served!" Yamato called to the sleeping group. Jyou rolled over, and watched as Koushiro got up, and then fell back down.   
  
"Koushiro, are you okay?" Takeru asked on his way to the food. Koushiro nodded and stood a bit shakily. "That's good. Come on, my brother made fish for breakfast!" Takeru went skipping off. Koushiro rubbed at his gloved wrist, and then looked down at his computer. He gave a small sigh, and turned towards the others. Jyou watched as Koushiro's face crumpled, and he left the group, going in the opposite direction. Jyou knew that it was time to talk to Taichi.  
  
He got up and went in search of their leader, and found him talking to Yamato next to the lake. Jyou considered, and realized that Yamato would probably be a good person to tell as well.   
  
"Hey, Taichi, Yamato, can I talk to you two for a second?" Jyou asked. The two boys looked up at him, and nodded. "It's about Koushiro."   
  
"What about him Jyou?" Taichi asked.  
  
"I think he's hurting himself, and we need to do something. Last night, he woke me up for watch, and there was blood on the ground, I woke up Gomamon, and he said that it was Koushiro's, and I watched him this morning, and I'm worried." Jyou said in a rush. "He's so solitary, and he drifts off when spoken to." Yamato paled and nodded.  
  
"I've noticed it too. I think he's really hurting. Did you two see the expression on his face when his computer died? It was like... cold." Yamato shivered a bit, and then frowned. "And it's not like he has any close friends. I can count on one hand how many times I've had whole conversations with him, and I'd still have fingers left over."  
  
"Yeah... I know what you mean. I feel bad now, because, after his computer died, I joked with him a bit, but I don't think he found it funny. He just looked away, and said something really technical that I didn't understand." Taichi thought for a moment. "I don't think we should worry anyone else, for the moment. But, maybe we could walk in pairs today, with one triple group, so he's not alone."  
  
"That's a good idea. As long as one of us is in Koushiro's pair, and tries to get him to open up some." Jyou said, agreeing with Taichi's plan.   
  
"Okay, let's go!!" Taichi said. He led the way back to the clearing where the rest of the Digidestined were waiting. "Hey everyone! Today we're going to walk in pairs so we can get to know eachother a little better. We have to be able to work as a team, and to do that, we have to know eachother well." Taichi turned to Yamato. "Yamato, why don't you choose the groups today."   
  
"Hmmmm, Mimi and Sora, Takeru, Taichi, and me, and Jyou and Koushiro." Yamato said, moving in the direction of his brother. Jyou went over to Koushiro, and helped him strap his laptop onto his back.   
  
"Thanks Jyou." Koushiro said softly, and started to follow the others. Jyou noticed that he looked rather pale, and sweaty. 'I'll have to keep an eye on him. He looks about ready to faint.'   
  
The morning went quickly, and soon they were stopping for a rest in a grove of trees. Koushiro sat against a tree, clutched his laptop against a tree, and fell asleep. Jyou sighed in frustration. Talking to Koushiro was like talking to a wall. But a wall might be more helpful.   
  
A few moments later, they were ready to leave, and Jyou shook Koushiro awake.   
  
"Koushiro? It's time to leave. Can you get up?" Jyou asked. Koushiro got up without saying anything, and started walking towards the others. Jyou watched in horror as he took a few steps, and then toppeled over. Jyou ran to him, yelling for the others. Jyou placed his bag on the ground, and lifted Koushiro's feet onto the bag. Yamato ran over.  
  
"What's wrong with him Jyou?" Yamato asked, kneeling down beside them. Jyou shook his head, and took off Koushiro's gloves. The two boys gasped at the sight of the old scars. Then Jyou picked up his right wrist, and noticed that the new cut was infected. He moved Koushiro's feet, and opened the emergency bag that he carried. There was a small packet of antibiotic cream. Jyou opened it and spread it on the cut. He found some bandages and wrapped Koushiro's wrist tightly. Jyou wiped away a tear that trickled down his cheek, and put the gloves back on Koushiro's hands. He handed Koushiro's laptop to Yamato to carry, and the emergancy bag to Sora to carry, and picked up Koushiro. The rest of the Digidestined looked at him strangly.   
  
"Um, Jyou... we can stay here. It's not like we have anywhere to be." Taichi said walking over to him.  
  
"But we need to be somewhere safe." Jyou looked around the grove, and the looked at Taichi's worried face. "We should find a cave or something that we can protect. We're sitting ducks here." Everyone nodded, and started off towards the mountian.   
  
"Are you okay carrying him Jyou?" Yamato asked. Jyou nodded and started walking.   
  
"Jyou? What's wrong with Koushiro?" Tentomon asked. Jyou looked over at worried Digimon.   
  
"He hurt himself, and he lost to much blood, and his wound is infected." Jyou answered quietly. Tentomon buzzed quietly for a moment.   
  
"How can I help him?" Tentomon asked.  
  
"When he wakes up, he can't be left alone. He might hurt himself again. We also have to try to get to know him better. He needs to know that we care about him." Jyou said.   
  
Taichi shouted from up ahead. He had spotted a promising looking cave, and Jyou made his way over. The cave was nice and deep.   
  
Mimi, Sora and their Digimon went looking for firewood. Jyou put Koushiro down against a wall. Koushiro moaned, and his eyelids fluttered.   
  
"Jyou? Where are we? What happened?" Koushiro asked in a whisper.   
  
"You passed out. We're in a cave so you can get enough rest to recover." Jyou looked away from Koushiro, not knowing how to confront him about his cutting. He took a deep breath, and let it out. "The cut that you have on your wrist got infected, and it needs to be taken care of. So, we'll stay here for awhile." Tentomon flew over and landed on Koushiro's lap. He looked up at his partner with a worried expression on his face, but remained silent.   
  
"I.... It's not.... I don't.... Why do you care?" Koushiro asked, his voice growing louder, making Taichi and Yamato look up from their whispered conversation. Koushiro looked down at Tentomon in his lap. "I know you all hate me. You make fun of my ideas, and leave me out of important decisions.... I never know where we're going. You treat me like a child." Koushiro looked down at his hands and a single tear started a track down his face. Jyou let out a trembling breath.  
  
"I'm sorry Koushiro, I never meant to ignore you, or hurt you... or make you feel unimportant. You're a valid part of this group, and we need you." Jyou said quietly. "And I for one, love you... love your theories...I mean." Jyou turned a bright shade of red, and looked away. The other digidestined looked back at him. Mimi giggled and put her hand over her mouth to stop any other sound from escaping. Sora took her by the arm, and lead her out of the cave, dragging Takeru with her as well. A few moments later they Jyou heard a muffled cheer. He turned back to Koushiro whos eyes were shining with unshed tears.   
  
"Did you mean...?" Koushiro whispered. He looked up at the blue-haired digidestined.   
  
"Yes, I did. I started loving you when we were kids. But now, I love you even more. You're are brave, and beautiful, and your wisdom shows in everything you do." (A/N: And the author is going to die from sap overdose.)   
  
"I'm glad. I... like... love... I love you too Jyou." Koushiro smiled, and pulled Jyou into a hug.   
  
"You have to promise me something though Kou-chan" Jyou drew back alittle. "You have to promise that you'll never hurt yourself again. If you feel like doing it, tell me, and I'll find some way to distract you. And then, when we get home, you have to get some help." Koushiro nodded slowly, and then buried his head in Jyou's shoulder.  
  
"Can we ask something?" Taichi quietly asked. He and Yamato walked over and sat by the new couple. "Why did you hurt yourself in the first place. We will understand if you don't want to tell us, but it might help you heal if you told someone."   
  
"You're right, and I guess I should have told before. Especially you Tentomon. I don't think there should be any secrets between the 'destined and their Digimon." He sighed, and cuddled closer to Jyou. "A few months before camp started, I overheard a conversation between my parents. They said that I was adopted, that they weren't my real parents. And I didn't understand why they didn't tell me the truth. Did they think that I would love them any less? So, I closed them out, and suddenly, it seemed that there was nothing that could make me happy. All there bad feelings kept building up, and one day, I just knew that I had to let it out." Jyou hung his head, and pulled Koushiro closer. Tentomon looked up at his partner.  
  
"I don't understand. Why did hurting yourself make you feel better?" Tentomon asked  
  
"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense does it? I just know that it worked... but I realize know that it is a very unhealthy action." Koushiro said. Everyone else nodded.   
  
"I'm glad that I know what was wrong know. It'll help me help you more." Jyou said. Koushiro opened his mouth, ready to protest. "We're a team now Kou-chan. I help you, and you help me, and together we'll be fine. You have no choice. I help those that I love... you're just going to have to keep up with me." Koushiro smiled, and raised his lips to meet Jyou's. Yamato grinned at the sight, and grabbed Taichi to do the same to him.  
  
"Hey you guys, I'm gonna come in here now. Sora and Mimi started kissing, I think they want to be alone... oh jeeze" Takeru walked into the cave, and then turned around and walked out again.   
  
Koushiro sighed, and gave into the kiss that he and Jyou shared. It was perfect, it was loving, and it was the first step towards healing  
  
  
  
Hahaha... you can see my mood swings as you read this!! Poor Takeru. I'll give him something to do in my next story.   
  
So what did you think?   
  
Oh yeah!! I have a bonus Plot Bunny here for your viewing pleasure!! I'm writing a version myself... but I want to see some other point of views.   
  
It's a Takeru/Daisuke/Ken - I just love that threesome  
  
Must haves  
- A bet between Taichi, Yamato, and Patamon  
-Taichi thinks that Takeru loves Ken  
-Yamato thinks that Takeru loves Daisuke  
-Patamon Knows that Takeru loves them both  
-The three boys dancing together  
-A very devious Patamon  
-Taichi bakeing cookies that turn out badly  
-Hikari and Minako playing dressup with one of the three  
  
You could have  
-Other pairings... (Even Digimon can be in love too)  
-Yamato offering to do someone's hair  
  
This isn't a contest because I have nothing to offer the winner... But if you do use my bunny remember to play nicely with it, and mention my name somewhere... Ohoh...plus e-mail me to tell me that you used it, and where it's posted so I can read it and praise your writing  
  
Ja Ne!   
  
Lady Firebird (Firebird7C@hotmail.com)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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